Friday, April 17, 2015

Love my ah, ha moments

Someone posted this on Facebook today and I felt like the brightest light bulb went off above my head. 

Over the course of the last year and perhaps not even that long, I have really been working on being grateful. I'm not saying I was never grateful before; I just make a conscious effort now to acknowledge to myself what I am grateful for. I don't think the word grateful was part of my everyday vocabulary a year ago.  

I started to become aware of how ungrateful I truly was when discussing my unhappiness with my BFFF. If I was going to change my attitude and outlook on life, I was going to have to start being grateful for what I do have. This friend of mine, ended up sending me a gratitude journal. I admit, I don't write in it as much as I should, but it really helps bring awareness to all of the good I have in my life.  

My daily struggle is that I am single and have been for more years than I care to admit most days.  I have my good and bad days. On my bad days is when I really struggle to acknowledge all of the things in my life for which to be grateful.  My brain just gets so wrapped up in that one thing I don't have that it blinds me to all the good I do have.  

With all that being said, this quote went even farther with what I have been working on.  I have so many things now which were things I once hoped for. 

For instance, after 14 years of working in several different law offices for several different attorneys, I am finally at what I would consider my dream job with regards to being a paralegal.  I work for just one attorney which is what I always wanted, I work for an attorney who puts up with my bad moods and every other day freak outs, I run his business, and I can finally say I am making the money that I always dreamed of making. I am making enough to finally be able to not only go do things that I want to do (i.e. fly to California to see my BFFF), but I am for the first time since I was in my teens able to save money.  

I lived in my apartment for 9 years. I was content living in my apartment. I loved it. It was home to me. I never thought much about purchasing a home. I always said, that I would wait until I was married to buy a house (mainly because I didn't want to mow or shovel). I can't say it was something I ever "hoped" for. Once I started looking at houses though, it became a hope.  The gratitude I had with being able to purchase a home on my own, maintaining excellent credit after losing not one, but two jobs, and saving up money to buy a home was the ultimate payoff. 

This quote gives me hope that one day I can write another blog just like this and be able to say that after all those years of hoping to be in a relationship, I finally found love.  I'm sure when I write that blog, there will be things I am hoping for. It's a constant struggle with myself to remember that even if I do find love one day, I will still have problems. I will still have things I hope for. Being in a relationship isn't going to cure my unhappiness and depression.  I have to do that on my own.

Oh, and one more thing. I've been using Young Living Essential Oils for probably 6 months now. I am loving them. These are the two I use when I'm not having good days. The Gratitude I got more just for curiosity purposes. But, I like putting it on the back of my neck at night.