Monday, September 29, 2014

I'm the asshat.

As much as I don't want to share this new dating disaster, it's a must. I say that because I want to be able to look back at these stories one day and realize how much I've learned and grown.  Also, I want to be able to say "thank you" for each one of them.

I can't say that I really knew this guy. We both used to go out a lot back in the day. But, we never went out together.  We've been texting and calling each other for a little over a week now. First, let me give you his background. He works at BF Goodrich and has for 7 years, has a car, own apartment, two teenage boys, and I'd like to point out that he's 41 years old.  So, back to what I was saying...we've been texting and calling each other for a little over a week now. He seemed to be on the same common sense train that I am on. We talked a lot about how parents are raising their kids these days. How hard it is to date from both a man and woman's prospective. We had good conversations.  We hung out the other night and he did try to mess around and I told him no. I told him that I wasn't going down that road and that I wanted to do this differently. He tried messing around with me, but nothing that made me feel uncomfortable.  We hung out for probably 2.5 hours. Today, I wasn't sure when I'd hear from him because he doesn't work today. I was online and noticed our email thread was gone.  I clicked on his profile and it didn't say anything about my being blocked. I got on Facebook and sure enough, we weren't friends anymore. I went to text him twice and it showed my messages failed.  I called him from work to leave him a sweet message. Usually, I just don't say anything because they're not worth the time or energy. But, I couldn't let this one go.  I told him he was just like the other guys. That he just proved once again why I am still single. Oh, and lets not forget he specifically said, "I don't sleep around." Anyways...in short, I said "fuck you" and hung up. Well, he only deleted me on Facebook; he didn't block me. So, I sent him an email saying the same things.  It showed he read it, but he didn't respond. 

So, guys answer me this?  You don't call if a woman does give it up and you don't call if they don't give it up. Well, high mother fucking five to me for not having sex with you. 

I'm officially putting myself on a dating hiatus.  I cannot blame anyone but myself for my experiences.  It doesn't matter how old someone is, what they do for their job, how many kids they have, if they do drive and own a car, if they live alone or with their mama. It's something that I am missing and I've got to find it within MYSELF.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Redecorating

Do you ever look around your house and think "I'm a little too old for that?" Recently, I noticed that the object where I hung my keys up was a dolphin. I'm 35 years old. Why do I have a wood shaped dolphin holding my keys? I started Googling ideas and nothing jumped out at me.

In the meantime, I started following a few garage sale groups on Facebook. You can put ISO ("I seek out") and list the items you're looking for.  I posted that I was looking for a key holder.  A few people sent me some key holders that were absolutely nothing I was interested in. Then this woman sent me a picture of an empty picture frame with hooks. I thought this is genius!! Now, I just had to find a frame I liked. Best place in Fort Wayne to look at a variety of frames for me is Gordman's. All I knew is that I wanted something old looking. I found this frame at Gordman's. Loved how it turned out.

P.S. I threw the dolphin away.









I found this picture frame (see below) posted on one of the groups and instantly fell in love. The frame is awesome and the colors would match my bedroom perfectly. The woman had posted the dimensions and it just seemed too big for where I wanted to put it. But, over a few days, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided I'd figure out somewhere to put it.  So, I bought it for $20.  My next task was trying to figure out how to hang it because it doesn't have a normal frame back. I went to Hobby Lobby and got red ribbon that matched and tied the ends to the chicken wire on the back and hung it up that way. Totally in love with this. I put earrings and necklaces on it.



Since I've lived in my apartment, I've had one of those round tables with the glass top and the cover that goes over it.  I decided I was over it.  Plus, Amelya walks under the table and the cover had her hair all over it. I had bought an Ikea table from my friend before she moved to California. It's white and has shelves with baskets. I started thinking about getting a white nightstand. Again, I went to Facebook and asked if anyone had one. Some woman posted the nightstand below for $20! Sold. I picked it up Friday night and I love it (the stuff on it below is not mine).



When I went and picked up the white night stand, the woman had some amazing stuff hanging on her walls. She told me she was going to be moving so she'd post more things on Facebook.  She posted three or four different mirrors. I snagged these two blue ones. I'm picking them up Wednesday. I think I will probably paint them white and hang them on the red wall in my living. But, I haven't decided quite yet. All I know is I love them. I paid $50 for both.


Because I've also been selling things on Facebook, I have not paid $1 out-of-pocket for any of these things. I sold my round table and canisters yesterday so I now have $50 to buy these mirrors Wednesday. Why not get rid of things that you no longer use/want and buy some new stuff? My apartment already feels a lot different and I love it!

**UPDATE**

I decided not to paint the mirrors white, but gold. Best decision ever. I also went back to the same woman's house and bought an oval mirror she was selling. Here's all three together. Thanks to my dad for painting and hanging them. 


Major right? 

Over the weekend my mom and I stopped at a flower shop that was going out of business. Much to my surprise they had this gem of  a gold floor lamp. Guess how much? $15 = sold to me. 


It's much prettier in person. 

Stay tuned cause I have one more project! 

My last project was for my bedroom. Of course, Pinterest was my go-to for ideas. I've noticed a lot people selling old windows. I saw on Pinterst where someone took an old window and put decals on them so it looks like you're looking outside. I decided to do dandelions and trees. I went to this cute shop down on Main Street called Maisie and Maude. I couldn't believe that they had an old 6 pane window that was red. Guess how much...$12! Then I went to the Dollar Store and got the decals. 

Here's the finished project. 


Amazing, right? Downfall is that when I hung it up, you can't see the decals as well. Either way, the window is amazing to me. Here it is hung up (I promise it's not crooked). 


I had gotten a couple frames a few weekends ago so I stopped at Joann Fabrics and got some scrap booking paper and used the paper as the "picture." I love how these turned out. 



And, last, my dad took my old toy box home and repainted it and fixed the structure of it for me. I got this stuff called Rub N' Buff in gold and rubbed it on the edges of my toy box. Loved how this turned out too 


Oh, I got these two pillows on a garage sale group on Facebook for $5.00. 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Deception

Anyone can lie at any given time, right? But, just think what you can lie about sitting behind a keyboard. You can lie about your age, height, and weight. You really can be anyone you want to be when filling out an online dating profile. What I have learned over the years is that if someone has a Facebook page and you can find it, you can learn so much about a person. Go through their pictures and you may find out they have kids they didn't mention (this happened to me), or even a girlfriend. What I like most though is reading their timeline and seeing what they have to talk about. Now, I haven't ever met someone who didn't look like their pictures. But, I've obviously met dozens of guys who are not who they said they were.

Now usually, when I put someone on blast on my blog, I never reveal their name, or post any pictures. I hate to do it now, but it's a must. I received this email today: 


He got instant points for writing more than "hi," "hey," or "what's up." I didn't find him all that good looking, especially with the long hair. Just not a fan. I can do without the middle finger picture too.  But, I emailed him back. Now, in the meantime, since he gave me his name, I looked him up on Facebook. It was easy to find him since it's not that common. Before I show you his Facebook, let me show you his online dating profile.


Notice he doesn't smoke, do drugs, and he has a car? 

Here's his Facebook. 


He's smoking in his profile picture and read his second status update. How about you get up off your ass and go get a real job? But this one is my favorite from a few days ago....


I know you're asking me why am I still on a dating website with alllll the stories I've shared over the years. I am actually intrigued at this point. I feel like a reporter looking for the next story. I am leaving my love life in God's hands at this point. Oh, and below is my "About Me" section on my dating profile.  Clearly, a) he didn't read the part about smoking and having transportation, or b) he was intending on wasting my time and portraying himself as someone he's really not. 


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

What I Require

I know I'm no walk in the park when it comes to dating. I fully admit that I am a huge pain in the ass. I'm very outspoken, I like things my way, and I don't put up with much. Over the weekend I had two very similar conversations.

1. I can't recall if I've ever blogged about this guy before or not. It's probably been about five years, if not more since we went out. I'm not even sure you can call it a date, because we were with my best friend. We just went to some restaurant downtown. I do recall that he was a huge pain in my ass. He bitched the whole night.  Since that night, we have never gone out again. He's emailed me on various social media sites. Sometimes I ignore him, sometimes I humor him and respond.  Back in June, he asked me to dinner. The first night we had plans was on a Wednesday. For some reason, he had to go to Marion, Indiana, but had planned on being back in time for the dinner he asked me to.  Long story short, he got caught in the rain, under a bridge, with no cell service and couldn't text me. Despite his ridiculous excuse, I gave him a second chance and made plans to go to dinner on a Friday night. He was to be off work at 6:00 and meet me there at 7:00. I confirmed the time with him at about 6:30.  He tells me he just got home from work and had to shower. Not sure at what point he was going to tell me this. I flat out told him I wasn't waiting all night. At 7:50 (my cutoff time was going to be 8:00), he called me and said he was ready and he'd meet me there. I got to my car and he called me - he said his brother needed to borrow his car and would I mind just picking him up. I told him I would mind. So, I get to the restaurant at about 8:05. I waited ten minutes and texted him. He told me that he would be there shortly. What the fuck does "shortly" mean? I finally called him and he tells me that he had to take his brother somewhere and he was on his way. I asked him where he was at, and he said downtown on Jefferson. By now, I've waited 25 minutes; I left. Yep, sure did. Do NOT make plans with me and then do ten other things first. I'm not wasting anymore of my time on you. Now, maybe in my 20's, I would have sat there and waited for him. I probably would have been a bitch throughout dinner, but I would have waited. Guys, if you make plans with a girl, it's OK to tell your boys that you have plans. Grow some balls, OK?  Since that night, I've ignored his messages. He'll email me and tell me I'm stuck up and why can't I respond to him. I had gotten a text one night and didn't know the number.  I responded and asked who it was.  Never got a text back.  The number wasn't on my deleted list on my carrier's website. I got to work the next day and typed in his number on Facebook, and his profile showed up.  He was to embarrassed to respond to me when I asked who it was. Sorry, I didn't save your number in my phone. Yesterday, he emails me again and asks how my weekend was. I wrote back and told him he was very persistent. I don't have our messages saved, so I can't write out verbatim what was said, but he basically told me I'm too uptight, life is too short, and that I hold grudges and/or don't forgive people.  Oh, and the best part? He told me I'm always going to be single if I'm going to act like this. Then, I blocked him. Thus, the reason I don't have a copy of our conversation. Again, I fully admit to being a pain in the ass. BUT, this is not me being a pain in the ass.  This is me requiring that if a man wants to ask me out, he's going to show up on time and he's not going to waste my time. I'm not choosing to hold a grudge or not forgive him. I am just choosing to not give him yet another chance to waste my time.  I even asked him how many chances did he need to show up to dinner? Damn.  If I had the energy, I should have emailed him back and said well if you're going to continue wasting people's time, you're always going to be single. I know he just said that because he's a douche and doesn't know how to treat a woman, but don't be a dick and tell me I'm always going to be single. That is what's wrong with our society. No one knows how to treat people anymore. 

2. I really liked this guy that I was dating back in July. I even blogged about it here. I realize I didn't go into much detail about the situation at the time, and I'm still not going to. It's been a few weeks, but I did block him from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and my actual phone. Nothing specific happened, it just needed to be done so I could focus on not focusing on him 24/7. Well, Saturday, he emailed me on the dating website (one place I forgot about).  I responded back and then he told me to call him. I never did. Yesterday, I get an email that says "Will you talk to me!!!!" So, I called him. He wanted to tell me that he did move into an apartment with a roommate and even took my advice and didn't move into the apartment he was going to. He said his next task was to get a car. He said that he's doing this for me (well some of it). He said that he wished I wouldn't give up on him so easily and I would be patient with him. I'm not stupid -- this dude has got all the right things to say. But, his actions never live up to his words.  Later that night, he texted me...we went back and forth a bit and I just stopped responding. He texted me 20 mins later and was kind of in a tizzy that I wasn't responding.  Then, he says "I just hate the way u make me work or fight you." I said, "I'm not trying to. I know I deserve the best. I deserve to be treated the way you treated me the first few weeks. I want to walk around with a smile on my face. I want those butterflies. And, I won't accept anything but that.  I haven't been single for 9 years to settle." He didn't have a response. Yes, I'll make you work for it. You lied and just turned into a huge douche bag there at the end. I'm not letting you back into my life because you send one email, or we have one conversation.

If I can't find a man to treat me the way I deserve to be treated whether some think those standards are too high, then I guess I will be single forever. I would much rather be single than be treated like shit.

On another much funnier note, I can 100% fully admit that the dating website has nothing but a bunch of hot messes. Over the weekend, one guy told me his son lives here in Fort Wayne (he lives in Indy). I asked him if that was his only kid. He said no. He has 10 kids and 6 are biological. I wrote back "that's a lot." WTF do you say to that? And, what the hell does it mean that only 6 are biological. OMG, I died laughing. Then a 30 year old guy proceeds to tell me that he too has two jobs. When I asked what he does for work, he said he worked at Fazolis. Wait. What? Fazolis? And, what about the "other" job. I couldn't even respond.

Let me clarify too that I don't care if you work at McDonald's because you're going through a hard time. My struggle with this is that you need to get your life in order first before trying to date. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I was unemployed twice for almost a year both times. During that time, the last thing on my mind was dating. I mean, of course, I wanted to date, but what was I going to tell the guy? What did I have to offer him?

I just don't get boys. Get your shit together first and then work on finding a girl.