Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Put Your Dukes Up

I went to a therapist for a short time between 2005 and 2007.  I remember the main topic of conversation tended to be about my boss at the time.  My therapist had me write a letter to my boss expressing all of my emotions towards her and what she did to make me so angry. Of course, I would not be giving her the letter, but just reading it out loud to my therapist. When she first gave me this "assignment," I was annoyed. Is it necessary that I have homework? I started writing the letter and I noticed that it did make me feel better. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I read the letter to my therapist and I felt even better.  I think that experience is largely why I blog.

Because I can't get this situation out of my head, I finally figured I'd blog about it and see if that helps relieve some of the space it's taking up in my brain.  And, unnecessary space at that. 

I've been working a part-time job since September 2013. I work three nights a week and then six hours on Saturday (noon to 6 - blah). Now that it's summer, I was finding myself absolutely dreading going into work on Saturdays. I also felt like I didn't have much of a weekend. I pondered the idea around for a while and finally decided that I would email the office manager and give her two options.  1. I would stop working Saturdays, but continue my three weeknights, or 2. I'd be putting in my two week notice.  I honestly thought she'd just hire someone and let me go. I mean Saturdays are half of my weekly hours and in my opinion the most important hours. Right off the bat, she said that she didn't want to let me go because I am reliable and she was going to see what she could do. I had technically given her about a three week notice at this point. Over the course of about a week or two, she would email me and say she was still working on the changes and had at one point asked me if I could come in on the weeknights at 5:30 opposed to 6:00. She didn't tell me why.  She just asked me if I could. I said, yes. It does actually benefit me because I can leave one job and go to the next without having to sit around and it's giving me an extra 1.5 hours a week.  The office manager had also asked me not to mention anything to anyone at work. Well, before I finally made my decision to email her, I had mentioned to one woman at work that I was thinking about giving up Saturdays. After I emailed the office manager, I didn't say anything else.

Not last Friday, but the Friday before, the office manager had emailed me about 4:00 in the afternoon and asked when I could start coming in at 5:30. I said, Monday was good for me. I didn't work that Saturday because I had my fundraising walk. I didn't see my "friend" until Monday when I got into work. I had texted her during the day and said that because I had to be there at 5:30 now, I wouldn't have much time to sit around and chat. She didn't respond (P.S. her iPhone is set up to show her messages as "read" and she tried to tell me that she left her phone at home).  I got to work that Monday and she was near tears. She said that she got called into the office manager's office Friday and was told her hours were changing because I was quitting Saturdays. I'll be honest - I wasn't sure if this woman was going to get stuck working Saturdays. I had a hunch she might because she was already working 8 to noon on Saturdays. I just hoped it wouldn't be her.  She was my closet friend there.  Lets not forget I had just taken her to dinner a few Fridays before all of this for her birthday. Anyways...so we're talking and I said well did you tell her you couldn't work Saturdays till 3:00? She said yes, but wasn't given a chose. Don't get me wrong. I would have been equally as pissed off if my schedule was changing from 8 to noon to 8 to 3:00 on Saturdays. She had every right to be pissed. We finish talking and I go up and answer phones. I go into work Tuesday and she still has an attitude with me. I finally asked her if she was mad at me? She said, yes. I was shocked! I asked her why and she said she couldn't believe I agreed to come in at 5:30 during the week; that I was screwing her out of hours; and that I came out on top. I stayed fairly calm because I was trying to understand how she was losing hours when she was gaining three on Saturdays. I was so flustered that she honestly thought I intentionally screwed her out of hours that I said to her all I can do is quit and hope they hire someone and put your hours back the way they were. She said she couldn't ask or tell me to do that - that it was up to me. Finally she said that we were just talking in circles and she walked out. I was baffled. She never could tell me how she was losing hours. She said that if she ever had to make up hours she had no window of time to do so. Again, doesn't make sense to me. If you need to make up some time, I can always come in at 6:00. But, whatever. She said goodnight and I didn't respond. Come Thursday that week, I walked up to her desk and we both said hello and she handed me the call log sheets and I walked away. I get up to the desk I sit at and buzzed her that I was taking over the phones. She says, "so did you decide what you were going to do?" I said, "about what?" She said, "about staying here." I said, "I'm staying" and I hung up the phone. Yes, I'm being shitty now because I'm hurt she honestly thinks I tried to screw her. Again, I just took her to dinner a few weeks ago. I really liked being friends with this woman. I want to reiterate that I do believe she has every right to be pissed about her hours on Saturday. I'd be fuming if that were me. She has to remember though that I gave the office manager two options. She could have chosen to hire someone else and not screw this woman over. Lets also not forget that I have a full-time job. Yesterday, I get to work and I walk around the corner and she says hi, but doesn't look at me and says "there's the sheets." I grabbed them off her desk and walked away. I just dread going in now. She really doesn't want to see who can be the bigger bitch or have a bigger attitude, because I will win in the end. Unfortunately, that is my personality and I'll win. 

I've been pissed about how much of a child she acted like that I've almost thought about calling the office manager and telling her. But, I don't want to do that and jeopardize this woman getting fired or written up. Plus, it does seem pretty childish on my part. 

I am also not going to apologize for asking for what I want. I went two years being unemployed after being fired from two horrible jobs. I'm finally at a job now where I have a boss who adores me and where I'm paid what I think I'm worth. Not to mention, I'm working for one attorney and we run the business together. This is what I've always wanted. On top of that, my part-time job allows me to finally save money after all these years. 

I'm happy and I'm going to roll around in that happiness.