Wednesday, February 27, 2013

POD (Plenty of Douche-bags)

It's no secret that I've dabbled in online dating over the years.  Well, a little more than dabbled.  And, I can honestly say it's never worked.  I can hear Dr. Phil now, "how's that working out for you, Rachel?" "Well, not to well, Dr. Phil."

Why I do continue to try? I have no idea.  Maybe for the entertainment?  Plus it gives me something to blog about.  It's what I know.  Some people write about babies and relationships.  Others rap about selling drugs and getting shot.  I blog about my encounters with douche-bags.  Maybe all of this douche-bag-ness will make me really appreciate someone when I find a good guy.

Here's my latest and greatest.  I've been emailing with this guy back and forth online for probably over a week.  We haven't even exchanged phone numbers yet.  I will admit, I'm a bit picky when it comes to a conversation. I like longer emails, something to respond to, and use of the English language. I can't stand Ebonics.  Not to mention, I rarely understand it.  Me and this guy had no problems with communication.  It flowed smoothly.  Over the weekend, he asked me to do coffee.  He mentioned Wednesday because it's his day off during the week (he works third shift somewhere doing logistics).  Oh, he's from Fort Wayne. Graduated from Snider. He does have two kids.  Lives in Bluffton. OK, so last night I started asking what time he wanted to meet and where. He started talking about how taking a girl out to dinner has gotten him no where.  And, how he'd like to be taken out for once.  I said, "DITTO!" I told him that's why coffee is a nice compromise.  I'm not asking for dinner at Eddie Merlot's.  He said, that some girls just use this as a free dinner.  I get it....I know girls can be just as shady as men.  This conversation definitely made me a little annoyed because I don't want to make going to get coffee an issue.  He never did answer me about coffee.  Today, I start asking again.  Which that should have been my first clue.  I shouldn't have to ask a hundred times what our plans are.  Grow some balls and participate in making the plans.  You asked me, remember?  I mentioned meeting after work downtown at Starbucks.  He asked me if I remembered he lived in Bluffton.  Um, yes, jerk, I do.  Now that you're up to speed....

Me: Yes, I know.  I guess I don't know what side of town Bluffton is on.

Douche: Jefferson Pointe is about 20 mins north of me.
Me: So what side of town would you prefer to meet on?
Douche: Lets do SW :-) I can always do the gym too :-)
Me: What time?
Douche: We can try 6 ;-)
Me: Try? I get off at 5:00.  So, I can head southwest then. So, 5:30 would be better.
Douche: You seem awfully pushy for just meeting for coffee.
Me: No, I'm trying to make plans with you. You asked me for coffee tonight. And, now seem a bit hesitant. So, I'll stop asking. If you decide on a time and place let me know.
Douche: Wow with that attitude I can see why. You asked time and I said 6p. Then you try to change it. You have some interpersonal skills that need worked on my friend. It's just coffee. I'm not trying to sleep with you or be in a relationship with anyone.
Me: Sorry, but I'm dying laughing. I don't have an attitude. You asked me for coffee if I remember correctly. So, I was trying to figure out what time and where. Since I get off at 5:00, I thought we could compromise and make it 5:30. Guess not.  And, honey, I'm not trying to sleep with you either. And, if you're not trying to be in a relationship then get off a dating website.  Guess you're right though...taking a few weeks to talk online is much better than meeting up right away and exchanging phone numbers. Saves both parties a lot of wasted time and energy. 

Now, I'm paraphrasing because he's seemed to have blocked me so now I can't cut/copy our conversation anymore.  

Douche: Read my profile smarty pants.  Now I know why you can't get a date. 

He changed his "first date" section to read: "I'm not a cheap guy but some women are only out looking for a free meal. So ...we will pay for ourselves on the date to save confusion. I don't need to wine dine. If you don't like...keep it moving." 

I didn't respond.  He sends me another email that says, "I'm sorry if I offended you." 

AND, now I've been blocked.   

5/13/13: I just have to update this blog.  This dude has emailed me three times since.  First time to basically just say hi.  Second time to tell me he was horny.  Third time to tell he wished he was doing something (that something I refuse to put on my blog).  All of which I have not responded to.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Life Lessons

It amazes me the moments we tend to remember. 

Lately, I keep thinking about a specific Friday.  I lived at my old apartment and was with Joey at the time.  I remember driving down Lake on my way home from work.  I remember feeling like I needed some excitement in my life.  How it would be nice to be getting off of work and heading home to get ready for a date.  You know the excitement and butterflies you get before going out with someone new?  I don't remember if Joey was in the hospital that day.  Or, maybe we just didn't have any plans.  I really can't recall that.  Part of me thinks maybe we just were kind of distant at the time.  Because I don't ever remember wishing I was in a different situation when Joey was in the hospital sick.  Ever. 

When I think back to that moment and how I felt, it makes me sad.  And, I think for a few different reasons.  The main reason obviously being is that I would give anything to be back in that moment where I had Joey in my life.  I also don't want to be that person who always wants what they don't have.  I don't want to be in a relationship wishing I were single.  And, I don't want to be single wishing I were in a relationship.  I want to be happy in that moment. 

I wish I knew why that specific moment and that specific feeling I had always stays with me.  Maybe it's God's way of teaching me to appreciate what I have at the moment and not wishing for something or someone that I don't have.